As my fellow Gen Xers and Millennials enter their perimenopause and menopause years, we’re seeking help for the avalanche of symptoms that can occur during this important transitional time, when menstruation finally ends for good. One of the symptoms that I wasn’t prepared for was losing my orgasm. A few emotional breakdowns later, I’ve learned how to manage my expectations for sex during this time, I also use several cannabis products to help me enjoy sex.
Perimenopause is the time before menopause when our body’s hormones start to fluctuate and decrease until we stop menstruation. Menopause is defined by not having a period for one full year.
Perimenopause is the lead up to menopause and it’s when the worst symptoms can occur. Perimenopause can start up to 10 years before menopause. The average age of menopause is between 45 and 55 years old with 51 years old being the most common age. This means women in their thirties can start feeling symptoms.
The common symptoms of perimenopause may surprise you, it’s not just hot flashes and mood swings, let’s take a look at what you can experience during this time:
- Brain fog and mental confusion
- Joint and muscle pain (frozen shoulder for example is very common)
- Insomnia
- Fatigue
- Heart palpitations
- Itchiness and dry skin
- Itchy ears
- Dry eyes
- Irregular periods and worse PMS
- Heavy bleeding with periods
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Depression
- Irritability and anger
- Breast tenderness
- Low libido
- Chronic UTI and bladder issues
- Frequent urination
- Vaginal atrophy
- Painful sex
- Body sensations like tingling, zaps and skin crawling
- Weight gain
- Nausea
- Headaches
- dizziness
- Allergies
- Gum issues like bleeding gums
- Body odor changes
- Acne
- Digestive issues
- Taste and smell changes
- Tinnitus or ringing in the ears
- Night sweats, hot flashes and cold spells
- Restless leg syndrome
- So many more symptoms!
Often we don’t know that all of these things happening to us are all related to hormones. Often times we end up seeking out medical help, going through numerous tests only to be dismissed or given treatment for the individual symptoms and not the cause, which is changing hormones.
Most women get some symptoms and while not every woman is going to have a tough time with perimenopause, for many it can be debilitating. For me I’ve gone through hell.
Wearing a Holter monitor for intense heart palpitations, thankfully benign
My journey discovering I wasn’t crazy, I didn’t have some horrible disease, I was in fact in perimenopause
For years I’ve had many of the symptoms on that list but didn’t put it all together until my health went rapidly downhill in 2023. It started in my mid forties with increased chronic pain and brain fog, this happened to coincide with the pandemic, so stress was making it much worse.
I found I just couldn’t remember things, my thoughts were jumbled in a cloud and it made it hard to keep up with daily tasks. I also get terrible body aches. I had debilitating shoulder pain and hip pain to the point where I couldn’t walk far or lift my arm over my head. My ankles kept giving out and a simple walk would cause injuries.
The mood swings and rage became a problem as I tried to find ways to calm myself and feel good but I could never find relief, except when I used cannabis in the evening. I had low libido to the point that I just didn’t even want to be touched, orgasms became a lot harder to achieve. I had itchy ears, dry vagina, dry eyes, dry everything and I kept thinking I had a neurological disorder as I would swat my leg or forehead thinking a bug was crawling on me, but nothing was there. I could go on and on but it wasn’t until last year (2023) when after numerous blood tests, ultrasounds and even a surgery on my bladder, I was finally diagnosed with perimenopause.
I’m writing this in the past tense however I’m still going through this, it’s an ongoing battle.
The diminished orgasm in perimenopause and cannabis to the rescue!
If you can, look into taking HRT (hormone replacement therapy), it’s been a godsend for me especially for my urinary tract issues. I use a vaginal estrogen cream which has cured me of my chronic bladder issues.
Not everyone can take hormones and even if you can, there’s several lifestyle changes we have to make in order to stay our best selves. But can cannabis help?
The symptom that isn’t talked about nearly enough in perimenopause is the diminished orgasms. If you visit menopause forums, you’ll find hundreds of questions from desperate women on how to get back their orgasm. One woman wrote how furious we should all be about the loss of our orgasm, as the lack of research dedicated to this is indeed infuriating. While this has gotten better recently, women are still struggling to enjoy sex.
For me it started as low libido, so I used cannabis to get in the mood and reduce pain during sex and it was a miracle! I’ve written about this in several articles:
How to Have Mind Blowing Sex with the Help of Cannabis
How Cannabis Saved My Sex Life
Edibles and Sex is Where it’s at Ladies!
Cannabis can help you get into the mood and can help boost your orgasms by taking THC through inhalation or ingesting it. However you can also use it in infused lube which helps increase bloodflow and give you better orgasms. Personally I combine a few methods using topicals and edibles to help me enjoy sex more.
UPDATE: After several months of using a topical testosterone, exercise and working on my mental health as well, I’ve been able to bring back my sex life. Cannabis is wonderful tool to enhance your libido and orgasms, I’ve found it works for me even better now that I’ve been on HRT for over 6 months..
I put all of my methods for better sex with cannabis, watch this video where I go over everything I do to help.
I also did a collaboration with Danielle Simone Brand, Author of Weed Mom for a video around sex and yoga to help us get in the mood.
If even all of your treatments don’t work, try not to get discouraged
Not being able to find release from an orgasm can not only be frustrating, it can take you into a dark place in your mind. I’ve had to change my mindset around orgasms now and instead see sex as a way to feel sensual and sexy, rather than just trying to find release.
Cannabis helps me get out of my head and simply be in the moment so I don’t put pressure on myself to find that release, instead I choose to enjoy intimacy. If this is you, if you’ve stumbled onto my article because your orgasm dies mid peak, you’re not alone.
Perimenopause symptoms that might be aggravated with cannabis
Some symptoms can be made worse by using cannabis and this can make finding the right method tricky.
It’s really an individual thing and you’ll have to decide whether or not cannabis is worth using if it’s making some symptoms worse.
I can’t use THC with heart palpitations. thankfully heart palpitations aren’t daily so I can use it most of the time, but there’s some days or even weeks I have to avoid cannabis products with THC. Before I started using vaginal estrogen cream, I couldn’t use THC during a bladder flareup as it made it much worse.
My dry eyes get much worse with cannabis but I still use it as the relief I get from other symptoms is worth dry eyes, I use a warm cloth on my eyes for relief.
It’s going to take some experimenting with different methods and dosing to find what works for you. You may also find that certain days, weeks or even months you can’t use cannabis with THC as it feels too strong. That’s because estrogen can effect how THC can make you feel and while our hormones are all over the place, it can make it hard to find the right dose. I’ve found that estrogen has made me far more sensitive to the effects of THC so I’ve had to reduce my dose.
Keeping a cannabis journal can help you track your cycle and what times of the month you may need to increase or decrease your dose. It also helps to keep track of what products work best for you.
Perimenopause and cannabis are a great pairing
Whether you’re eating an edible or using infused lube, cannabis can help ease many of the symptoms women go through during this important transition in our lives. Especially sexual issues, this is where cannabis really shines.
Taking care of ourselves during perimenopause requires a complete shift in everything we do– what we eat, how we move, how much sleep we get, how we manage stress- all of it requires our daily attention. It can be overwhelming but with small changes every day, HRT (if you can) and the help of cannabis to support us, we can find ourselves again and feel good.