I’ve struggled with my weight since I was a kid. I’ve gone up and down the scale several times, never able to keep the weight off. I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s being told “a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!” and watching the women around me hate their bodies and themselves, always feeling hungry and depressed. The diet industry is a 72 billion dollar industry as they capitalize on those of us looking for a diet, weight loss pill or supplement that will finally work.
The problem is deeper than just diet and exercise, we can be fighting bad genetics and/or a health issue however often it’s in our minds. A healthy mindset is what determines how successful we’ll be at losing weight and keeping it off. Psilocybin is a great tool for rooting out those hidden blocks (often from trauma), preventing us from losing weight.
I’ve been using psilocybin for a couple of years with the intention of healing old traumas hidden away in my subconscious mind. I’ve written a few articles on psychedelics as they’ve helped me and so many others overcome blocks. In this article I am going to talk about one such experience I had with psilocybin that led to me losing 30lbs.
Getting to the heart of the issue
I was diagnosed with a serious illness at around 10 years old. Before that I was an athletic kid, a true Gen X, I rode my bike everywhere from sun up to sun down, only returning home for meals. I was also in an after school gymnastics program and I practiced hours and hours a day. I was obsessed and this obsession had me about to enter my first competition when I started looking pale.
After a lot of hospital visits and many rounds of invasive tests I was diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse (hole in the heart). The cardiologist had one of those 3D models of the heart and as he was pointing to where the defect was, explaining to my mother that I could no longer do any strenuous activity, I sat there in fear, unable to process what he was saying. Then he turned to me and said very sternly “you will never be an athlete.”
I was forced to stop all physical activity, no more riding my bike, no more gymnastics, I was pulled from gym class and I was devastated. This was the 80’s so the mental health of kids wasn’t even a thought in anyone’s mind leaving me to process my intense heartbreak (literally and figuratively) on my own. Naturally I became depressed and quickly gained weight, I was 12 years old when I had my first thought of suicide.
My heart did heal and is now a normal healthy heart however my mind never did heal from that experience and it’s the root cause of my panic disorder, depression and eating disorder.
Trauma from our childhood can manifest in many different ways from anxiety disorders to eating disorders, anger issues, chronic pain and often we have several disorders all going on at once (as I do). This can cause us to unknowingly sabotage our health and wellbeing. Psilocybin can be our greatest ally in overcoming deeply held grief and trauma.
High cholesterol, high blood pressure and fatigue had me desperate to change
The trauma from my childhood illness was one big reason why I struggle with my weight, I also fight genetics as all of the women in my family gain weight with ease. Food has always been a comfort for me and it’s where I turn when things are stressful.
Like many others, I gained weight during the pandemic. Early on in the pandemic I had lost my career of 25 years in Graphic Design and I was unable to focus on Weed mama as I, like many others found myself homeschooling my kids. I was completely out of my depth and I felt like I was failing in every way. This triggered my eating disorder.
When I stepped on that scale and saw I the number 200lbs glaring back at me, I also found out my cholesterol was high, as was my blood pressure. I felt defeated, I just could not bring myself to change my habits, it seemed a herculean feat when life had become so incredibly stressful and my future now uncertain.
I’m a recovering binge eater. My earliest memory of binge eating was when I was a teenager, I had bought a pack of four Caramilk chocolate bars, they were my favourite and I wanted to just eat a bit of one and save the rest for later but I couldn’t stop myself and devoured all four of them in minutes, I remember the deep shame I felt afterwards.
Bingers eat in hiding, we stash food and hate ourselves every time we gorge on large quantities of food. It was so hard admitting to myself I had a problem. I felt like a glutton with zero self control, I felt weak and like I would never change. I noticed I would pace the kitchen, or stare at a wall with my mind racing while I absent-mindedly ate a whole bag of chips, or a few sleeves or oreo cookies, more than half of one of those deep and delicious cakes. It’s like I would suddenly come to and see the damage- the thousands of calories of fat and sodium I shoved in my face and the overwhelming shame and gut ache would hit me like a stone. Hearing my family ask out of anger “who ate all of the cake?!” was humiliating.
I found the YouTube channel Never Bing Eat Again and his method instantly stopped my binge eating habit. I didn’t realize so many others suffered from it was well, that it was an actual eating disorder and not just my dirty little secret. Just knowing this gave me the strength to overcome it.
After I stopped binge eating my cholesterol lowered to a normal range however I was only able to lose a few pounds and couldn’t seem to get on a healthy eating routine to lose weight. Enter psilocybin.
If you read this article I wrote about my experience with Psilocybin you’ll see how I had a conversation with my brain. This conversation was with several female voices (hallucinations are common with psychedelics but it’s nothing to be afraid of) one of these voices sounded just like Dolly Parton, which make sense as I’ve always found her inspiring (I mean, who doesn’t).
I had a long conversation with this Dolly voice as she helped me build up my resilience and strength. I remember clearly the Dolly voice said and I quote “What you need right now is grit”. I knew in my soul that was the truth, I needed that strength from deep within to overcome the major challenges life was dishing out. Shortly after that psilocybin trip I on a total whim- a random Monday- started the Keto diet.
I wasn’t at all prepared, l hadn’t even gone shopping for what I needed for the diet but I had been on a low carb diet twice before so I knew what to do and since then I’ve lost 30lbs. I’ve managed to not gain weight all through December’s holiday festivities and numerous offerings of yummy candy and baked goods, a huge win for me.
Psilocybin was the catalyst for my weight loss as I was able to face that part of myself that felt too weak to do it, it helped me see that I did in fact have what it took to lose the weight, psilocybin helped me to see the answer, I needed a different mindset- grit is a perseverance that gives you the strength to power through mental blocks.
This might seem like such a simple thing but it wasn’t. I can’t explain how that one psilocybin session was able to rewire my brain in such a way that I was changed my habits overnight, you have to experience it for yourself to understand how it works. (I also have to say that just because that’s what happened for me, doesn’t mean it will happen for you).
Psilocybin works best when you go in with a clear idea of what you want to heal. We get so caught up in our own point of view that we can be blind to other ideas, other ways of thinking. These blockages happen over time as we experience traumatic things and shove it down to deal with life. This is especially true if you’re a provider/caregiver as you don’t have time process emotions and take time to heal yourself.
You don’t have to go on a mind-bending psilocybin trip to get results
I only used a mild dose, I took 500mg of psilocybin to have that profound experience. You don’t have to take a large dose and go on some intense mind-bending journey, even a low dose can have significant results. The key is to use psilocybin mindfully.
The future of psilocybin will be you scheduling an appointment with a licensed therapist trained in psychedelics. This therapist will guide you through a psychedelic trip so you feel safe and are able to work through issues with someone trained to help you. This is coming within the next couple of years and it’s what I’m looking foreword to the most. I know we can make huge strides in society with our health and wellbeing in this format.
Recommended reading: Q & A With Plant Medicine Expert Sarah Lovegrove on How to Start with Psilocybin
The best thing about a psychedelic trip is the healing lasts for months, like a ripple effect the healing spreads to many other parts of your life. We all have trauma however psilocybin isn’t just about doing shadow work as it’s called in spiritual circles, it’s mind expanding abilities can help you problem solve anything by opening up your mind to possibilities you’ve never entertained before.
I’m continuing my weight loss journey through diet and exercise and the mindful use of cannabis and psilocybin to support my overall sense of wellbeing. If you’re struggling to lose weight know it’s not your fault, it’s hard and we don’t live in a society that’s very supportive, your own mindset is what matters.
Accepting yourself as you are and welcoming change is the first step in improving your health, one way to help change your mindset is through deciding you deserve it, you deserve to feel good and be healthy.
Leave a comment below if you have questions or want to share your own healing journey with psilocybin.
*disclaimer, psilocybin isn’t for everyone, if you’re on medication talk to your doctor before trying psilocybin or cannabis